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Rescuing a Relationship
Relationship Rescue or Divorce with Dignity
Avoid acrimony and anger - stay focussed on what you want to achieve!
The structure of falling in love is to only see the good things about the person you are falling in love with, the structure of falling out of love is to only see the bad things about the person you are falling out of love with - neither is a balanced perception.
When people are falling in love they never even consider that things could change and that there might be some difficulties waiting along the way.
If I had a magic wand, I would wave it over all couples about to live together or get married and encourage them to gain the skills and abilities to see their future as a journey into unchartered territories, I would want to bestow them with the foresight to know, that sometimes the road will be smooth and full of joy, fun and laughter and sometimes there would be rocky patches that need to be negotiated with care and sensitivity.
I would encourage them to attend relationship and communication classes, so that each person could learn how to express them self fully and to see their partnership as a joint venture, in which they had relationship rescue techniques which would sustain them through the bad times.
I think that most of us will know people who go from one relationship to another and take with them all the mistakes of the previous relationship and do not seem to learn from the part they have played. They run away rather than face their dragons, they think over there, is better than over here, only to find that over there, soon becomes over here and they become disappointed and dissolusioned.
Unfortunately I do not have that magic wand, however if couples were more alert to the upcoming rocky patch and sought help at the beginning, then more relationships would be rescued and become solid, steady and fun again.
The reason I started “Divorce with Dignity” is really due to my many clients, who were struggling to keep their head above water, keep their focus on their work, whilst going through the trauma of a breakup. Every area of their life was suffering.
Being a Executive Development Coach with a background in counselling and psychology, I had to find the right balance between helping them through their personal drama, whilst keeping their focus on the business issue, of course the two were intricately linked and needed to be worked with in tandem.
What I do know is that with couples who have come to me before starting any proceedings, whether someone else was involved or not, in half the cases, they realised that staying together and working on their relationship, to bring some love and fun back into being together, and creating the kind of relationship that would fulfill them both was their best way forward.. Often trouble starts when each person in the relationship becomes more focussed on "me" and what is in this for "me" than what is in this for "us".
If individuals spend an equal amount of time, making sure their partner is happy and fulfilled, they work better as a team, they move away from the "what about me" syndrome and move into the "we" or "us" thought process.
Those who continued on the road to separation did so in a more humane and gentle way, so that their friendship remained intact and the children were protected from acrimony and anger.
To discuss the opportunity for "Relationship Rescue"
Contact: christina@divorcewithdignity.me.uk
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