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Deborah Lee
Personal Life Styling is about identifying areas of your life that are detrimental, and then fixing them. |
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Protecting the Inner Diva
Protecting the Inner Diva (a Woman’s Guide to Survival)
Think for one moment about the roles that women take on in today’s society; homemaker, wife/partner, mother, business woman immediately spring to mind, but we are also expected to go to the gym, organise social events (holidays, Christmas, school holiday activities), remember birthdays, anniversaries and all the paraphernalia that goes with it (cards, presents..). Oh, and yes of course, you have to look fabulous so regular trips to the hairdresser, nail salon and beauticians are advisable, if not compulsory, in some circles.
When I look back to my upbringing, I freely admit that my mother did a sterling job. She was always there to administer cuddles and kisses when I fell and bruised everything from my knees to my ego. I never felt insecure or destabilised, and although she maintains it was not always the case, I always remember her being patience personified.
But (sorry, Mum) I must state she had one clear advantage over me; her role from the moment my brother and I arrived was that of mother and homemaker. There was no pressure in the 1960s to have two foreign holidays a year; we did not live in a house full of electronic gadgetry (we whooped with excitement when we had our telephone line installed in the 1970s) and our Christmas lists were modest and inexpensive. Family homes were not filled with ambition and expectations, but they overflowed with love and hugs.
With this in mind, is it not surprising that, as women, we become exasperated and sense pending failure marching over the horizon announcing to the world how we really cannot have it all? Perhaps a kinder and more altruistic view would be to accept that we are trying to please too many masters; that we are expecting nothing other than perfection in too many areas of our lives and that we really ought to have a white flag handy when we need to wave it.
Looking at priorities is an obvious route to take when we feel life is overwhelming us, but it is necessary.
• Decide here and now which areas of your life you refuse to pay less attention to or spend less time on; this is now your first team. If you need any help deciding what these areas are, think about a burning building with all the people and pieces that make up you in there- who and what are you going to rescue?
• Relegate everything else to the reserve team. This is not saying they are no longer important; it’s purely agreeing that you are refusing to go down with an over laden and chaotic ship. All great leaders have to make such decisions and so do you.
• Find a way re-engage with the woman that is you! Not the mother, or the homemaker, or the family social secretary. If you haven’t exercised recently, get out for a brisk walk. If your underwear drawer looks like it should be condemned, go out and buy some sexy, slinky lingerie (no need to spend lots- see me later). If you can’t remember the last time you felt like a woman, take a pole dancing lesson (or arrange a “hot date” with your partner!)
Above all, pay attention to you and stop with all the mental self-harming! We can never recover time, but we can recover ourselves.
Deborah Lee specialises in Personal Life Styling which helps transform mediocre lives into something extraordinary.
Call Deborah on 01344 761165 or visit www.deborahlee.co.uk
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