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Deborah Lee
Personal Life Styling is about identifying areas of your life that are detrimental, and then fixing them. |
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Single Again and Hating It
Single Again and Hating It – What to Do and Where to Start
Finding yourself single again in middle age can be daunting and downright depressing!
A relationship breakdown, whether it is of your making or not, is stressful and the prospect of dating again is often unappealing and worrying.
Paul*, 49, came to us after his 22 year marriage had broken down following his wife’s adultery. He had two teenage children who were finding the change very difficult to deal with, and he felt very much that he needed to be their “rock”, which meant ultimately he felt alone in dealing with the loss of his relationship.
After three consultations, we agreed that Paul’s’ main area of concern was that he felt his image was outdated, and he was lacking direction at work (he owns and runs his company, employing 120 people). Coupled with that, he felt an urgency to meet ‘Miss Right’, and was feeling dejected that she hadn’t yet materialised.
We referred Paul for an image makeover to help him understand what clothes, styles and looks suited him and our performance coach helped him redefine his business goals.
Three months later, Paul reported feeling confident and happy with his new image, and that he had rediscovered the passion he had for his business that he felt he had lost. Most importantly he felt no urgency to date again, and was spending quality time with his family and friends; he was calm and comfortable with his new life.
Dating too soon after a relationship ends is often disastrous, mainly because we dream we will meet Mr or Miss Right straight away, and when we don’t, we add it to the list of things that are wrong with us and our lives. We blame ourselves. Again.
The most important aspect to consider at this point is you;
• Get yourself ready for the rest of your life rather than the next date!
• This is not a race, you are not under any time constraints to get into another relationship so don’t rush it.
• It’s boring and predictable but you really do need to eat healthily (3 good balanced meals a day and no take-aways), take regular exercise and spend at least 30 minutes a day winding down, relaxing and listening to some soothing music.
• Watch your alcohol intake; at times such as this we often regularly consume more than the recommended weekly limits.
Deborah Lee specialises in Personal Life Styling, which helps people redefine themselves, transforming mediocre existences into fabulously enriched lives.
For more information and confidential advice, contact Deborah directly on 01344 761165 or visit www.deborahlee.co.uk
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